In my heart of hearts I know that composing music is something I need to do, but many days it seems like the most impossible thing in the world.
I get tired of people offering helpful advice on how I could get a real job or worse, people inadvertently making me feel bad when they comment on how good I am at whatever day job I'm currently working at.
Composing has its benefits and its drawbacks. When I look deep into my own soul I know it is something that I have to do. That I frankly cannot continue without it. When I tried to break away from music for four years to focus entirely on a ‘more suitable profession’ it was as if the color had drained out of my world. I existed and moved through the world but the reasons for doing so did not have the same joy and thrill.
At the same time, it wears and drains on days when people ask me about my hobby or encourage me to do more with my life. When they ‘remind me’ that I have many useful skills it demeans the one skill I hope I have that means something to me.
I do enjoy occasional forays into teaching and my panel/outreach work is supremely satisfying, but only because I can also release my innermost emotions and desires through the creation of music.
This blog is a little bit of a ramble today. Mostly because my thoughts are a bit of a shambles. I know people are trying to be supportive when they tell me I can do so many useful things with my life but after having my brush with how short life can be I don’t want to just be useful. I want to be myself.
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Once again, I'm going to be starting up my school teacher day job soon. While I would love to be able to wholly devote all of my time to composing it is just not economically feasible at this juncture. So, in an attempt to make composing a little easier to build into my school year schedule I have been building a stock of blogs for the next few weeks. Basically, I have been writing blogs instead of music for the past week so that when I need to use music therapeutically as a release from work stress I will have time.
However, this means that I really don't have any music for this week. Oops! This will be corrected in the following weeks. Until then, I'll be sharing a quick improvised piece made in Figure as soon as my internet cooperates. It will be up on Soundcloud in the next few days so keep an eye out! Very exciting news today! I have a great recording to share with everyone. Several months back I had entered a contest with a piece entitled “The Wind was on the Withered Heath.” The challenge was to put one of Tolkien’s verses from his world of Middle Earth to music. I ended up choosing a favorite of mine from the Hobbit. I was blessed with the good fortune to win this particular endeavor.
So it is with great pleasure that I am able to present a beautifully done live rendition of “The Wind was on the Withered Heath.” Sarah Olsen beautifully preforms the vocals while recording and piano accompaniment are fantastically done by Matt Arnerich (Sonataform). The recording can be found here. Also please take some time to check out other works and recordings by Sonataform here. Thank you for listening and may the light of the Valar be with you! |
Nocturnal Adagio
Music and musings by Sarah Hsi. For more info check out my About Me page. Archives
March 2018
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